So, finally recovering from RSA 2008, enough to give some brief observations of this years conference. This time I'll start with some of the social observations.

Group dynamics:

One of the things about RSA is that it's an interesting mix of groups competing for attention and recognition. You've got the academics, who are giving the smack down on next generation of crypto attacks and workarounds (looks like the SHA family may get retired soon). There's the technical security geeks, who are working out all the kickass attacks against the infrastructures that the product peddlers are pitching to enterprises as the silver bullet for security and compliance.  Then there are the CISO/CSOs and other business middle management trying out how to navigate the swarm of buzzwords and hype both in the expo and in the technical tracks.

The technical security geeks are for the most part trying really hard not to rag too heavily on the commercial products out there, because most of them work for someone who might get offended. They're also really bumming because they would much prefer giving this presentation at DEFCON/Black Hat/CCC and staying up til 3AM with proper hackers. They can't drop the f-bomb or call a product or technology a complete piece of shit, though sometimes they slip up.

The product peddlers are all calling like fishwives that their product will magically cure your enterprise of security woes. Of course that'll probably require a professional services agreement, and a couple advances of six to seven figures. You have the staff for that, right? If not, we can put you in touch with a nice group for outsourcing some of that work, as well. They're under the mistaken assumption that anyone in the financial services industry has a flush budget this year, and wilt when the news and attendant shaking of heads occurs. Well, there's always the 2009-2010 budget allocation...

The academics are generally burbling around, playing with the shiny schwag and ogling at the few remaining misogynistic marketing enticements ("booth babes"), or closeted with high level business people and peers running over the latest bombshell someone just dropped on a protocol exchange attack. Mostly harmless.

The government crowd has their reality distortion field in full effect: negating the technical security geek observations and findings, suppressing the impact of the academics' attack on their latest approved vendor technology and unable to realize that companies operate with fewer than fifty people to a department. They toss out TLA bombs and GAO report findings as badges of merit. Your choice: oblivious or malicious?

The business crowd, slowly nomming away the core of academics and technical security geeks, rubs elbows with the partner companies, shakes hands with the "permitted vendors" and stares glassily at the milling crowd. Somewhere in this mix they have to find the appropriate vendor list and market buzzwords to take back to upper management on where they need to be/buy in the next 6-18 months. The well funded take names and technology promises with aplomb, the less wealthy try and deconstruct the root of the offerings into cheaper point solutions that they can get past purchasing/upper management.

Final Thoughts

I loved my Sydney experience. It is an amazingly cosmopolitan city, with a great mix of cultures. I'm now ready to take on more of Australia once I have another opportunity. Once the sticker shock wore off, it was well worth the cash outlay for a once in a lifetime chance. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I hope I get another chance to visit the Sydney offices and use them as a springboard to see more of the Southern hemisphere.

If you have any questions about the experience, feel free to inquire within.

In which our intrepid traveler exposes himself to solar radiation and high prices
( Read more of Dru's Travels )

Right, I'm out of creative juice now... I'll post more later.

Next Up : Taronga Zoo, Markets, Symphony (with a crush), the beach, Museums, wandering and wonderings.

**Disclaimer: Short time frame, incomplete experience, framed by my previous travels, jet lag and in general any number of things have focused my observations. I'm making sweeping generalizations here, because that's how you tend to operate when visiting something for the first time, just to contextualize the dang experience. **

Important Tip to Authors:

Dedicating your genre novel to a controversial political figure or announcing your political ideology in your dedication can hurt your sales. It simply acts as a initial tick mark against you, and if you give the reader other reasons to drop the story, they may or will step away. Sometimes this means a loss of an otherwise typical commercial sale. This is of course distinct from using your ideology as a sales technique.

Observation:

For a wonderful exercise in alien-ness, try describing to a non-native English speaker what a pickle is.

"Excuse me…what is… uh, umm, pa-ickle?"

The gentleman across the diner from me asked the waitress, whose brain blue-screened. She flailed around, looking for support. I'd just acquired a book from the local store. She spied it on the table beside me and gave me a desperate look.

The gentleman in question was wearing a white muscle shirt that proudly proclaimed, "American Sherrif" and had embroidered stars on the sleeves. His two companions and he had been trading lilting conversations in an eastern European language of some sort.

I stumbled for an answer that would make contextual sense: "A cucumber pic---soaked in brine--salt water?"

All eyes turned to me. A blank expression from the gentleman, and mild amusements from his friends.

Then I tried again. "A piece of zucchini or cucumber, stored in a jar with brine or salt water." I looked up at the waitress for assistance. She was busily trying to find her manager (now hidden away in the kitchen). Then I realized something. I'd gone and done it. I'd gone and turned up my vocal volume; I'd become the obnoxious English speaker speaking more loudly as if that would make the language make more sense.

The threesome went back to the menu, and the waitress quickly left to attempt to salvage her tip at another table. I sat there trying to figure out a decorous way to apologize. There, coming down the aisle, was my meal. I saw it, that icon of my social redemption. My deluxe burger garnish: a half-pickle.

I picked up the pickle and raised it to the table across from me. The drooped lightly, a little worse for wear from the kitchen.

"Pickle," I proclaimed proudly.

All three strangers blinked, smiled weakly and went back to their animated conversation about the diner. Evidently the mystery of "The Original Mel's Drive-in Diner" held more attraction than my attempt to help. I went back to my milkshake and burger, feeling equally embarrassed and proud for having done my linguistic worst and best.

Next time you're preparing that exchange of alien cultures, try to think of the pickles in your universe.